“I’m sorry. (Not really)”

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In the past, I’ve started a few posts with apologizing for not posting very often and I’ve come to the conclusion that these apologies were two things; insincere and not necessary. Insincere because I really don’t care what you think and not necessary because I don’t owe you anything just like you don’t owe me anything either.

I’m going to be more honest with you from now on. I’m going to write about how I feel and what I think. So if profanity and harsh words offend you, stop reading now.

Now that we have that out of the way, today is my second child’s 19th birthday. A milestone of sorts because not only is he an adult in the eyes of the law, he can now consume alcohol legally which is actually kind of funny. Last year he was old enough to die for his country but now he can do that, he can enjoy a drink to dull his senses. What a fucked up place this part of the world is.

My son’s name is Corry. He’s a good kid with a good heart but he’s looking to find his way just like I was when I was that age. Corry’s had some bumps in the road along the way. For one thing he made me a grandfather last August. His girlfriend gave birth to a beautiful little girl we call Sofia. Not exactly something I was thrilled about at the time but I wouldn’t change a thing now that she’s here. Corry, his girlfriend, and the baby all live with us along with my 2 other kids (21 and 16). It’s chaos at the best of times but we manage and quite honestly, I see it as a blessing more than anything else. You play the cards you’re dealt and right now I’m holding a “full house”.

You never know what life is going to bring to you. The saying “life is what happens when you’re busy making plans” holds a lot of truth to it.

I feel blessed to live in the country of Canada (even though the whole drinking age thing is whacked) and in a time when things are changing at such a rapid pace. It scares me as much as it thrills me. I’m an information junkie and just when I think I have things figured out, my knowledge and skills suddenly become obsolete. You have to learn to run fast and keep your head up at the same time because if you don’t, that’s exactly when some fucker’s going to kick the legs right out from under you and laugh in your face while you grimace in pain.

I like to think of myself as a spiritual and enlightened being but my ego sometimes gets the better of me and shows the “asshole” side of my personality. I wonder if that ever goes away or do you just have to live with it and remember to say “I’m sorry” to the people that witness it.

Just remember that the time we spend here passes by in an instant so enjoy those little moments, take lots of pictures and tell people you care for how much they mean to you.

Life is definitely a journey.

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